51:32:35 l0:03:22

TGI Paul

Friday, May 26, 2006

Darkrooms

Ok, so as my mate JP says, its never a good idea to blog when you're pished.... but here goes...

I'm nearly 37 (god knows if I'm ever gonna get there, and frankly sometimes I dont care) but amazingly I'm still only just learning the ways of the big queer world.

Tonight I was turned off darkrooms with a pradigm shift that made the tsunami look like a ripple.It's not been that long since I first experimented with them, and I must admit, I loved them at first; there's a great feeling of power to be derived from being the centre of attention in a room full of men, half naked, hands everywhere...

I felt in control, adored... almost worshipped by all that attention, especially as it was given in such an intensive burst......

But tonight something changed

I don't know how

I don't know when

I just know that suddenly I realised it didnt matter a fuck who I was


Or what i had to ssay

it just mattered how big my cock was


Or how cute my arse is


And that's not enough




You see, I get turned on by someone appealing to me. Their wit, their charm, the way they caress me, hold me, kiss me.

And I'd be bloody foolish if I continued to think I'd ever get that in a darkroom eh?




p.s. I've split with Alfie already.... or I wouldn't have been there

p.p.s I'm back on the smokes

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