51:32:35 l0:03:22

TGI Paul

Thursday, May 31, 2007


This is scarily accurate!
How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Saturday, May 26, 2007


I promise I will do a 'proper' entry soon, but in the meantime here's another list;
As I was scrolling through this, I was thinking "Well, that's ok, none of these apply to me! I still go clubbing (AND am very often the last to leave!), I buy t-shirts with things written on them and I don't have a disposable income... I've already spent most of it on wine and cigs!

Then, I got to #23 "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and remembered saying to my flatmate just this week that I recall when there were only 3 channels, and even they didn't start until midday!

As for this #25..... well I do, but isn't that just a gay thing?

1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush". (worst still you don't go to the clubs)
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer / basketball player and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.
5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper,you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of most of the things that are in it.
10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children.
13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.
14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really nice half-bottle of house red.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in. Grand Designs also appeals.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, You tut at rowdy school children.
25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
26. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me"
27. You can agree with at least 15 of these!

Friday, May 18, 2007

2 Tough Questions

(You may well have had this in an e-mail that's been doing the rounds for some time, but I thought I'd post it for you anyway!)

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she hadsyphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one (don't cheat!)

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the 3 candidates.

Candidate A.Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had 2 mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium incollege and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate CHe is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks anoccasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response...

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a littlemore than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse

* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

With a wife like his...

Just saw this on the BBC website;

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Mr Alifi, of Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."

Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Broadband Emergency!

... is the main reason I've not been around much here lately. Apologies to all, especially Vic, who has greeted me on the last two meetings with comments such as "Why haven't you been writing your blog?"
"Hello Vic, I'm fine thanks! How are you?"
"When you are going to update your blog? I had a stop-over last week, and had nothing to read!"
"I'm sorry...."
Cabin crew... such drama queens! (Vic: I jest!)
Anyway, no broadband is the main reason. Orange as my new provider have had trouble taking the line over and are blaming BT. Bt are blaming Homechoice (the old provider), and I'm sure you can guess who Homechoice are blaming.
Oh what fun I've had finding my way through the endless telephone 'menus', and the joy of recounting the whole history to the umpteenth extremely helpful person in Calcutta.
"You've come to the wrong extension, you'll have to call back and choose option number 6 from the 4th menu on the left just past the Roundabout of Confusion. Have a pleasant day!"
"Why can't you transfer me?"
"We don't have that facility, goodbye."
"What the f.."
Or this classic line...
"Sorry I can't help you today... our system is down!"

"Funny that", says I, "so's mine!"