Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Last Day At Head Office
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Lady Mucca Speaks Out!
1) If you're trying to prove you're not a publicity-seeking self-promoter then surely a TV interview isn't the best way to do it? Maybe retreating to Outer Mongolia would do it?
2) If you're trying to claim the intrusion into your life has been unbearable, ditto!
3) So much for trying to keep this as quick and painless as possible for the sake of Beatrice eh?
4) If you think you're going to get the same sort of sympathy Princess Di did by hiring the same lawyer and doing a similiar kind of 'heart on sleeve' appearance, then you're even more self deluded than I originally thought!
5) When you say "I'm never going to marry again", is that because you're rich enough now to not need to anymore?
And Another Thing...
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Over The Weekend
'All done!' I thought, dusting off the sawdust from my hands, ' Now I just need to get him back in the cage! No! Keep still! Come here!'
He scampered away and under the bed, I grabbed out blindly with my face squashed against the side of a suitcase. I was so worried I may lose him under there forever!
As you probably know, a gerbil's tail is quite fragile and rough handling can cause the tuft to come away. Very often the bone will be left behind. Whilst it does not look very pleasant, the bone will dry out and then auto amputate after a few days and the end will heal over naturally. I have come across cases where an entire tail has been pulled off. In these cases it is better to get the gerbil examined by a Vet to check that no other damage has been caused. The gerbil will learn to adapt to the loss and will hardly notice its injury.
Where Are You?
just watching tv;
another crass dose of 'reality'?
Are you sitting alone,
just watching your phone,
with only a beer can for company?
Are you out with some friends,
for not being around too much lately?
Or are you on your settee,
with his head on your knee,
simply banishing every thought of me?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Quote of the Day
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"... Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Name in Russian:>>
This is pretty cool... click the link below to try it out.
Ignore all theRussian on the site, just type your name in the text box and click to see what your name looks like in Russian...very impressive! Use the name you go by day to day,
And if that didn't make you smile here's a joke you can tell in the pub this evening...
A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box? We're leaving from the office so I will swing by the house to pick my things up"
"Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit peculiar but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.The following weekend he came home, a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"
You'll love the answer...
The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box....."
Friday, November 17, 2006
what else could I say?
Just thought I’d drop a quick note to see how you’re doing. I was wondering if we were going to be speaking at all soon.
We’ve not been doing very well really have we? It’s such a shame as I really do think a lot of you, and had hoped this was going to be long term. Please get in touch as I am a little worried that you didn’t reply to my text yesterday and you're ok.
After our conversation on Wednesday I think it is better for all concerned that we don't see each other.
You are right, we are both looking for differing things at the moment. That is a shame.
I don't think it is great doing this in an e-mail, but I don't want to speak to you at the moment.
Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry you don’t want to speak to me, I know it’s hard for you but it is for me too to feel this unloved and confused.
I’m convinced you are seeing someone else, otherwise why would you only want to see me once a week, when you say you want to make it work? It's all a little too much like it was at the start when you were darting back and forth between me & M. I really wanted it to work too; I just needed more contact, and a little reassurance, as I explained at dinner last Friday.
I’m really upset it’s ended like this.
Link To A Great Cause!
If you're unaware of this story (it was glossed over in a lot of the press here) Mike Jones is the guy who not only revealed the immense hypocrisy of a man who was rallying against gay equal partnership rights (at the same time as renting men for class-A fulled sex sessions), but also could be said to have a been a help in America's election outcome.
"I've been in contact with Mike over the last week. He tells me that the major gay rights organizations have extended nothing but ten-foot poles. He is unemployed and I imagine that for at least the short future, he is unemployable. He is facing the potential of huge legal bills. He has received death threats from Haggard's followers and other peace-loving Christians."
There are details there about how to contribute to Mike's paypal account and help the guy out. Personally, I think he's worth it!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wrapping It All Up
Further to our e-mail exchange on Monday, (and the ensuing dreadful, miserable, pitiful night out), I sent him a text to let him know what had happened. Now, my friends have sent me lots of very caring, sympathetic messages, and there have been some lovely comments posted on here, but the best J could manage was;
"Hope ur ok (n.b wouldn't 'Are you ok?' be a little more like he gave a shit?). Why did u have £250 on u?"
I replied with a brief explanation, also mentioning that I was now on the way to the dentists, and heard nothing back at all. No more texts, no phone call, nothing. Maybe it's because I was going to the dentists and my phone would be off. He'll call tonight, I figured.
I was wrong. I spent most of the evening checking my phone incase I hadn't heard it; nothing.
I was reminded of a rare bit of wisdom I once gave a friend, "Being on your own isn't half as lonely as waiting for a call from someone you *hope* cares".
On Wednesday lunchtime I sent him another text; "Whats happening J?"
No reply. By about 5pm I could think of nothing else, consumed wih trying to work out what was going on. It was driving me insane. This guy hasn't spoken to me since Saturday morning when he said goodbye, in spite of everything he'd said Friday night about wanting to make it work, and that he'd make more of an effort. Then through something great and something awful he hasn't wanted to speak to me at all.
I set my mobile to withold the number and called him. He answered straight away. Funny that, I thought. I asked why he hadn't responded to my texts, he said he'd been busy. I asked why he hadn't called to see if I was OK, and he admitted that he resented the implication from my text that it was because he didn't come out on Monday that I had such a bad night.
"It was your choice to go out and get drunk Paul. It was nothing to do with me."
"You're absolutely right J, I'm totally responsible for my own actions and I was bloody stupid, but do you really think I was going to go home and sit in feeling depressed and lonely?"
"You were going out with friends in Soho! How did you end up in Camden?"
"No. I invited you to meet me in Soho. I wanted to celebrate with you! If you'd called and said 'well done, I'm really sorry I can't meet you' you would have known that. I ended up in Camden because I didn't want to sit in my flat alone feeling down because of you, so I got off the train there. It wasn't how I wanted my day to end!"
Anyway, there was absolutley no point in getting into an argument, it was already blatantly clear to me that we're incompatible, that I need someone who can be a little more caring and considerate. "You deserve it too", he said quietly, and then "I don't know what to say."
He could've tried apologising, he could've tried persuading me that we could work, but again nothing. I don't know why I could have thought I'd get anything else.
"Just have a think about it and let me know." I hung up.
24hrs later; nothing.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Pride All Week.... Now's the Fall
After leaving work last night soon after 6, I decided a solo celebration in Soho was too sad and it would probably end up in tears. So I did the sensible thing and headed home.
At Finchley Road, I changed lines to the Ghetto Express and, as I had a twenty minute wait, went into a bar for a quick half. Back on the platform, in the cold rain, with my coat wrapped round me and no-one waiting at home to warm me up, the tears came anyway. Who needed Soho, eh?
Pulling myself together, I boarded the train and just kept reminding myself of all the great stuff, of the family that love me, the friends I value so much, the flat and the new job. As we pulled into Camden Road station, I decided I would go and have a few drinks at the Black Cap. I just didn't want to go home and sit alone all evening I guess.
Anyway, one turned to three, then to five etc etc. I was getting hassled by some German guy who was very sweet to begin with, telling me what gorgeous soft skin I had. Then he began bragging to me that he has been here just three years but, because he used to be a herione addict, he's managed to get a council flat and full benefits, and he's now working two other jobs on the side.
This really pissed me off; I fucking hate freeloaders, especially ones who are so proud of it. When I was diagnosed 10 years ago, I could've got the lot, by pleading that my family had disowned me or that I was suffering depression or whatever, but I didn't; I buckled down and accepted nothing. The flat that I now own and the job that I've earnt are mine through hard work, however he just didn't understand my point of view.
"What's the point in earning money," he asked "if I can't use it for fun?"
"Just piss off!" was all I could muster.
I was approached in the street as I was waiting for a night bus home. A young guy asked me for some money, he said he wanted some 'smoke', I said no, but he kept on. then he said he'd give me a blow job if I gave him the money . Please don't ask me why, but drunk, stupid, alone, whatever, I eventually said yes!
We walked away from the bus stop and there was another guy following us. He said we needed to go round the corner to get away from the other guy. I realise now they were probably accomplices. I started getting suspicious so I said I didn't want to go any further. He then started asking me for more money, saying that if I gave him another £20 he could get some coke.
Straight away I got on the phone to 999 and followed round the corner to see him, with about 6 other guys, all laughing and play fighting over the cash. He ran away from them, protecting his treasure, and back past me shouting "I hope you're not phoning the police!"
I hung up and buried the phone in my pocket.
He shouted back at his mates, "He wanted me to suck his cock, the pervert!"
I didn't know if they would all start on me now, but I stood my ground and waited for the police to find me. I got a call straight back, "It's ok, we can see you. A car is on its way. Stay right there, the place is riddled with CCTV's"
It didn't take long for the police to arrive and I got into a car with two of them, while another two went off on foot to look round the area. We drove around for a while looking for him, but it was no good. It was obvious to the cops that I was drunk, and now I was scared I was going to get in trouble for trying to buy sex or something. They assured me I was the victim, not the perpetrator, so I started to calm down. Eventually, after giving statements, checking the details, giving full descriptions and signing all the documents, they dropped me at a cab shop to get home so they could carry on looking.
Now I'm hungover, ashamed, a little bruised and £250 lighter. And this afternoon I have a dentists appointment.
The ying and yang is suitably redressed, methinks.
Monday, November 13, 2006
But I couldn't hold on any longer so I just sent him a mail asking if he fancied joing me for a celebratory drink this evening in Soho, and swiftly got the reply
"CONGRATULATIONS! Can't tonight I have a meeting at 8am x"
I’m sorry if I put too much pressure on you. I seem to be too demanding for you. I’ve tried to take things easy for your sake, really I have, but what’s the point of doing great things if you have no-one to share it with?
I’m not sure we’re at all suited Jay, because although I love you dearly you still manage to make me feel empty."
I'll decide whether or not to send it tomorrow when I've calmed down.
I GOT IT!
Friday, November 10, 2006
The Winning Streak Continues....
However, I didn't get time to post that, and it wasn't that interesting anyway. It actually turns out though that it would have been a touch premature. You see, yesterday we had our monthly team briefing; a big affair with everyone from Head Office attending. It's a bit of a waste of time normally. But yesterday I was awarded the "Restaurant Support Hero of the Month" award, comprising a certificate (coo!) and another £50 vouchers to add to the £100 I got on Monday. Hurrah!
What I was most pleased about with this was, that I was having my interview later in the afternoon for the Hampstead restaurant vacancy so this was great 'self-marketing' fodder to take along!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
The London Eye
At 135 metres above London, the London Eye is the world's tallest observation wheel, with 40km panoramic views on a clear day. The gradual 30 minute flight offers stunning views of London and its famous landmarks in a fully air conditioned capsule with bench seating.
Meanwhile, Across the Big Pond....
This party fought a campaign of no great distinction or identity, without any proposals for dealing with it, and they have brought down a man who Bush said would remain for the next two years only five days ago.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
And you know that I'm pretty damn good (though I say so myself), right?
So, if I'm sat next to a novice on the train, and they've managed to enter barely a few numbers, AND they've been sat for a good twenty minutes, scanning along the rows and columns with their pencil, with a pained expression on their face, and entering no new numbers...
Is it ok for me to suggest the next few numbers?
Of course, the answer is "NO!" It would be rude beyond compare. However, I had done the next 8 or 9 moves in my head and was starting to lose my place in the puzzle because I couldn't keep in my head the picture of it as I was completing it, so I got stuck.
Which irritated me beyond belief. Whaddya reckon?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
On A Winning Streak!
A Date with Jay
Wednesday evening I had arranged to meet Jay for dinner. At his suggestion, we went to the PizzaPlace in Hampstead, which was very considerate of him, realising I may want to check the place out. You see, I have my interview for the Restaurant Managers position lined up for this Thursday. It's a very sweet little restaurant, in a listed building, a few yards away from the tube station. If anything it may be too small for me after being used to the hustle und busy-ness of Islington. It may bore me.
We had a nice meal, trying out one of the new Autumn pizzas, and drinks afterwards at the local gay pub. We discussed our lives, plans for jobs, plans for Christmas.
I do not want to see you sad. If not seeing me makes you happier, then that is what I want too. I feel awful for causing you such upset."
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I received a call this morning from my little JP. He's back in the UK, alive and well so my visit to Nottingham is brilliantly timed as I'll be able to see him too :0)
I'm also REALLY looking forward to his blogs about what happened to him out there!
(no pressure love!)
And why do I ALWAYS get the FATTEST person on the train sitting next to me? Or better yet, like this morning, the TWO fattest people sitting either side of.
"I'll tell you what," I snapped, "I'll stand, you two take the three person seat. Help yourself!"
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Sadly, being on an 'estate with gates' I didn't even get any 'Trick orTreaters' this year, so the nearest I got to feeling festive was watching the Deal Or No Deal Halloween Special!
This weekend coming....
I figure this means he will not know many people and will be busy settling into his new job, so he probably won't be too much of a party animal.
But we can soon change that eh? (",)